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Be Fishers of Men.... You catch 'em, He'll Clean 'em.
A family altar can alter a family.
A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
Exercise daily. Walk with the Lord!
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
Give God what's right, not what's left!
Give Satan an inch and he'll be a ruler.
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts"!
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
Having truth decay? Brush up on your Bible!
He who angers you, controls you!
He who is good at making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
He who kneels before God can stand before anyone!
Kindness is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory capacity.
Never give the devil a ride! He will always want to drive!
Nothing ruins the truth like stretching it.
Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
"Pray" is a four letter word that you can say anywhere.
Prayer - Don't give God instructions - just report for duty!
The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
This Church is "Prayer Conditioned"!
To be almost saved, is to be totally lost.
WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning!
Watch your step carefully! Everyone else does!
We don't change the message, the message changes us.
We set the sail; God makes the wind.
We're too blessed to be depressed.
Wisdom has two parts: 1) Having a lot to say. 2) Not saying it.
These quips were actually printed in some church bulletins.
1. This afternoon, there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized in both ends.
2. Tuesday at 4 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk come early.
3. Thursday at 5 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers club. All ladies wishing to be Little Mothers please meet with the pastor in his study.
4. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg at the altar.
5. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday afternoon.
6. A bean supper will be held on Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will follow.
7. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Belzer.
8. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
9. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
10. Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
11. Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help
12. Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again", giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
13. "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands".
14. The peace making meeting scheuled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
15.The Service this morning: "Jesus walks on the water"..... The Service tonight: "Searching for Jesus".
16.Barbara remains in the hospital and needs donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's Sermons.
17. The outreach commitee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are afflicted with any church.
18. The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday Morning.
19. Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The Pastor will then speak on "It's a terrible experience".